As part of the Oklahoma State University’s Writing Project Advanced Summer Institute, teacher consultants crafted “This I Believe” essays inspired by the organization’s call for people to write and share essays describing the core values that guide their daily lives. At a time when teachers’ values are being called into question, teachers have consented to share their essays to shape the public narrative on who teachers are and what they believe. If you wish to share yours, reach out to Sarah Donovan or write your essay (or poem) in the comment section below.
This I Believe
by Rebecca Hardwicke
I believe that building strong relationships with your students is foundational to effective teaching. It’s not that I don’t care about the data, the test scores, or the standards, because I do. However, none of that matters if a kid doesn’t trust you.
I believe that students have to feel safe and loved before they are even going to allow any learning to happen. All of the other things will fall into place, I promise. When a kid wants to do well to make you proud, or is excited to share with you their accomplishments, there’s no better feeling.
I believe that your teaching experience will be so much better for both you and for your students, when you put energy and effort into building solid and meaningful relationships FIRST. That’s why we all started on this path in the first place, is for the kids, right? I feel like some may have forgotten that.
I believe that you shouldn’t let anyone influence your opinion of a student, especially before you’ve met them. Every student, every person, has good in them. You need to be there and be willing to find it. They can tell, and it makes a difference. We make a difference.
I believe that meaningful relationships are key.
Rebecca Hardwicke was born in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, but lived in Kingwood, Texas, through her adolescence. She graduated from the University of Oklahoma in 2014 and has been teaching middle school Language Arts and Literacy in Midwest City, Oklahoma, for eight years.
Yes, yes, yes. Everything you said is true, Rebecca. I agree wholeheartedl with looking at students with our own clear eyes, not through others’ perceptions of them.
This I believe . . .
I believe in this day of instant global communication, the breakdown in meaningful communication between home and school sticks out like a sore thumb. We had more valid and warmer communication with our families when we put together paper packets each week to be sent home with the students! I work at a Middle School where the demographics are challenging (over 70% of our families are single family homes and incomes, who are often in difficult financial and high stress situations calling for sometimes heartbreaking decisions).
These children, the children of separated and divorced parents, have learned how to use the complete disintegration of any communication between parents to their best advantage and have applied this invaluable knowledge to the Middle School separation of school/teacher and parental communication. They may be young, but they’re not stupid. They understand that whatever they say to one parent is never going to get back to the other parent because they simply don’t talk to one another, except to occasionally yell and shout. These tykes have become adroitly skillful at using this absence of communication to their advantage. They have learned how to effectively ‘work the system’.
Upon entering Middle School from Elementary School, these children quickly discover, much to their delight, that there is no meaningful communication between school/teacher and home, in fact, there is a complete disconnect. In Elementary School there were always the obligatory Parent/Teacher Conferences, the one-teacher-one-student ratio, not to mention the in-class parent helpers and school volunteers who constantly share information (and the subsequent and extremely effective Parent Tom-Tom), and the general expectation of (and importance of) the parent participating in their child’s life at school to navigate. In contrast, Middle Schools, in this day of heightened campus security when parents are rarely even allowed on campus, rely on the child’s burgeoning sense of responsibility and maturity to get important messages/information home. This has proven to be a complete failure when demographics indicate a household already overwhelmed. The one thing most of these children can be relied upon to do is lose their Progress Report or Report Card if it is not favorable.
The Elementary School teacher has a classroom of 32 children, and it is a monumental feat to keep the parents of all 32 cherubs in-the-loop as far as their young prodigies are concerned. The overburdened Middle School teacher cannot possibly make the “home-connection” between themselves and 160 students and their parents.
After the first month in Middle School, the kid, while disoriented at first, quickly find their ‘legs’ and discover this ‘disconnect’ between school and parent to be a pretty good deal. If they acted out in Elementary School, a student knew that a swift phone call home or a parent meeting could be counted on. Acting out in Middle School brings a whole different Discipline Matrix.
When a student acts out in Middle School, it usually results in a trip to the woefully harried Assistant Principal’s office where the offender, if the offense is not too egregious, may have to serve a snack or lunch detention. The Middle School teacher, while expected to make a phone call home in these behavioral situations (when exactly this is possible is somewhere in the ether), is simply overburdened with demands (you try grading 160 writing assignments in a 42 minute Conference period while simultaneously creating lesson plans, making copies and copies and copies, meeting with the Principal, attending IEP meetings, preparing report cards, gathering District data, or covering someone else’s class because the District is short on subs), and expectations (teaching a classroom of 32 children – much like trying to keep 32 corks under water simultaneously), made upon their meager allotment of 42 minutes “Conference” time each day.
Yes, in Middle School we do rely on our cherubs to get important information/paperwork/flyers, etc. home to their parents. We also believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
Judi Opager
December 16, 2023
Showing respect and building trust with our students goes a long way for them to be comfortable to learn new things. Learning new things comes with not being good at it at first, and providing a safe relationship and space for them to mess up most helpful. Thank you for shining light on the value of building positive, trusting relationships with our students.
Rebecca,
Yes, we need to get to know each student before looking at their school *rap sheet* that often taints perceptions. I have this trust conversation often w/ students since I’m retired and subbing. I tell them I understand I need to build trust w/ them.
Wow, fellow Houstonian! 😊 Excellent post. I feel guilty about not prioritizing relationships this school year due to the immense pressure on state testing. The difference in my job satisfaction and student buy-in is obvious compared to previous years when I ensured relationships as the most important element of the classroom. It feels hopeless sometimes since it’s already December, but I’m realizing I could also think of it as it’s only December. Thank you for sharing your words.