Welcome to Day 5 of the July Open Write. A very special thank you to Denise, Jennifer, Mo, and Gayle for taking such good care of our words and hearts. If you have written with us before, welcome back. If you are joining us for the first time, you are in the kind, capable hands of today’s host, so just read prompt below and then, when you are ready, write in the comment section below. We do ask that if you write that, in the spirit of reciprocity, you respond to three or more writers. To learn more about the Open Write, click here.
Our Host
Mo is living her best life in Oak Forest, Illinois. She is a retired middle school reading specialist . Mo is enjoying finding opportunities to improve literacy on the home front and worldwide. She loves to travel and spend time with her family, especially her two spoiled dogs and two spoiled grandsons.
Inspiration
I was looking for poetic forms that I was unfamiliar with and stumbled upon the dodoitsu. It’s a four lined Japanese form with no set rhyme scheme. Its syllabic structure is 7-7-7-5. The dodoitsu is usually comical and usually concerns love or work. Include a title if you wish.
Process
Consider your topic- maybe love, work, or family. Put a comical spin on it and start counting syllables. Some people consider the dodoitsu the Japanese limerick. Have fun with this one!
Mo’s Poem
A Love Story in 26 Syllables
falling in love is easy
butterflies when I see him,
hearts, flowers, dinners out- but
what if he goes bald?
Your Turn
Now, scroll to the comment section below to write your own poem. (This is a public space, so you may choose to use only your first name or initials depending on your privacy preferences.) Not ready? That’s okay. Read the poems already posted for more inspiration. Ponder your own throughout the day. Return later. And, if the prompt does not work for you, that is fine. All writing is welcome. Just write something. Also, please be sure to respond to at least three writers. Oh, and a note about drafting: Since we are writing in short bursts, we all understand (and even welcome) the typos and partial poems that remind us we are human and that writing is always becoming. If you’d like to invite other teachers to write with us, tell them to subscribe.
Buffalo visit, home with Mom
First stop: lobster, clams…we’re pawns
in Buffalo’s food games: Greek fare done…
Damn those few more pounds put on!
Wendy, sounds delicious even with the few pounds added! 😋
Back to School
Get ready, Little Rizzler!
School starts in August, no cap.
Stay low key. Don’t do too much.
Sigma in the house!
I heart emoji this! Thanks for the laugh!
I see what you did here, Shaun. Well played.
Mo, I love your twist at the end about love! So true, ah, us humans. Here’s what
my very tired self has to offer tonight!
A look around the basement
I love all your interests!
garden baskets, robot arms,
carpentry tools, bikes, beer, books…
let’s have a yard sale?
Yes! Only in your observation I might be the problem. This was a fun one to read.
I second that, Emily! If only I can convince my husband to agree to that. 🙂
Emily. I’m feeling this these days too! So many projects, so little time. I also lose things! ‘bikes, beers, books…’ great phrase showing the variety with sweet alliteration.
Mo, thank you for hosting two days this week. And thanks to Gayle and Jennifer too. It’s been a good week. I love the “what if he goes bald?” musing in your poem. I’m late getting here today. I don’t have time to work on my poem really, but I thought it was funny that the meal was mostly green tonight.
Company came for dinner–
Limeade, green salad, pesto
pasta, broccoli. Surprise
St. Patrick’s green meal
I love how you managed this poem even after a busy day. No wonder you look so good- eating all those green foods!
Denise, your company was happy I am sure. It’s healthy to have St. Patrick’s meal any day, right? Thank you for the treat 🙂☘️☘️
Ha! That actually sounds delicious- I love the list with a twist!! Made me smile
Mo,
thanks for introducing me to yet another form. I was not expecting your last line!
As a beginning birder
Water birds are easier
After hours in the forest
I found a bluejay
Sharon, I’ve embraced my old lady birding habits. I like your last line- it’s a bit of a let down, but blue jays are pretty, too. IMHO they are the most misunderstood birds!
Sharon, I like that name “beginning birder” I guess I am too. I just started keeping track of the birds I see on my Merlin app. Congrats on your past and future birding success. Cute poem.
Hehehe- I do love a good jay sighting. Hard to miss that shriek!!!
Mo,
Thanks for the fun prompt.
What They Don’t Tell You About Marriage
Falling asleep to TV
Can’t stay awake most evenings
But wide-eyed at three am
My word! Stop snoring!
No one told me about it
Before I tied the knot
This bed is not large enough
For the two of us!
Tammi, I chortled when I read this. So, so true! I always wonder why I am the one creeping downstairs to the couch!
Oh, this form works so well to tone this topic with some humor (because it can feel more serious). The exclamation points add the whimsy or wink.
Tammi, what fun! Especially being awakened by snoring at 3 am. Well, the knots are tied and we have to deal. Thankfully, when THEY wake up rested, they fix breakfast while we sleep in a little while longer! Right?
Oh, Tammi, that’s a fun poem. I like that you used this playful form. The title is spot on. We all have a few of those things no one could have told us. And vice versa, I’m sure.
”My word! Stop snoring!” Oh, I have been there. On vacation with my mom and brother who snores like buzzsaws!! Thanks for this fun that we’re not all perfect!!
Tammi, so funny! And I always wondered if maybe it was best to give my ex his own bed in another room!
Good one! I enjoyed this a lot.
Thanks Mo for yet another fantastic poetry form!
Daughter met a match online
Brussels man, back and forth they fly
coming for Christmas, yes he is
will he be divine?
Seana Hurd Wright- a little context: she lives in NYC, they’re coming to Los Angeles in December.
Seana,
Love the rhyme. I hope your daughter’s man is divine!
Ohhhhh nice!!! Can’t wait to find out!
💜💜💜
Stay tuned for more on this story, I guess! I hope he is the most divine.
Oh, this can go so many ways with the online distance dating. So glad the back and forth has led to an LA family meet. This is big. Love the question at the end. Divine. She deserves divine, right?
Seana, how exciting that is! I hope he’ll earn your love and respect at Christmas. Exciting times!
Thanks to all the hosts this month! I loved every prompt and it was fun to engage with everyone again. 💜
Haha!! Mo, your ending is hilarious. At this stage in my life, I’m wondering what if IIIIII go bald!
I wrote a dodoitsu in 2023 but couldn’t seem to determine if it was from one of your prompts. It didn’t have a comical spin so I wrote a new one.
Advice He Won’t Ever Heed
Don’t mess with a black woman
Don’t mess with a black woman
Don’t mess with a black woman
You will never win
©Stacey L. Joy, 7/24/2024
In light of our latest candidate, I love this declaration.
Ha! What a solid message. I’m smiling! 💪🏼 You’re the best! Susie
I agree with Margaret. This is a great declaration! Go Kamela!
Love this!!!
Stacey, we hear you loud and clear – no messing around here. Let’s believe and hope!
Such a timely poem, Stacey! I love the repetition.
Oh, this repetition is perfect within this form keeping to that turn in the final 5 syllables. “You” works so well as particular and collective. And welcome home from your vacation.
Amen, sister! I’m sure he’s tempted to run from her, but he’ll never be able to admit it. Love this soooooo much! Finally, some mediocre white men are going to get the message of black woman power.
❤️❤️❤️
Poems drift across this room
and hide within our voices.
Pressing forth among like minds–
Cheers to word choices.
Margaret, I like the poetry drifts! Perfect imagery!
Margaret —
This line
“pressing forth among like minds ” — is so true. We really are connected in this space!
Amen, Margaret, and cheers! Always happy to read your poems in this space and beyond.
This is so sweet, Margaret. I love the drifting poems and pressing forth.
Oh, this is a lovely ode and contemplation. Yes, cheers.
Margaret, For years, I shared a room with other teachers so I could envision such a conversation. Your poem sounds like something satisfied teachers would say at the end of the school day while sipping tea at their desks, having assigned and listened to poems written and read by their students.
Margaret, what a pretty poem. I like the “room” of this space here. I like voices/choices in your dodoitsu. Nice.
Mo, this is a short, delightful form that is just right for Wednesday. Thank you for hosting. Your Love Story in 26 Syllables is just what I needed this morning.
I wasn’t in a joking mood this morning, but tried to come up with something.
Vanishing Hope of Robby, the Cat
Sitting by the table still,
Waiting for delicious treat:
– Want a slice of cucumber?
– Are you kidding now?
Baking with Flair
An engaging task for me—
no measuring is needed.
Baking is fun until I
get the first burnt bun
Awww, how cute! No cucumbers for Robby! LOL. Love that face!
The second one flows so well and took a funny turn. I bet your burnt bun was still tasty.
😻
Usually, I don’t burn, but last week I burned gluten free cookies for my husband. I blame it on their prepackaged recipe. The rest I bake from scratch. My grandkids were happy last week with the blueberry bundt cake, chocolate cake, meat pies, and other baked goodies.
Yummy!
A humorous take on your cat. I can imagine him saying “Are you kidding now?” with his expressive eyes. I have the same problem with baking. This week I managed to burn out the motor on my food processor.
Leilay — Love the light heartedness of both of your poems, and I can relate to the baking disaters of the “first burnt bun” as I always seem to burn something!
Robby just has no adventure in his soul!
When he gets upset, he walks away and sits somewhere quiet with those sad eyes. I gave him a piece of meat though ))
Robby is waiting for some burnt bun, I think! These were fun to read.
I think your humor did work here, Leilya! I loved the cucumber treat that Robby rejected. I like the titles of both of your poems too!
❤️❤️❤️ he’s adorable!
Teachers:
Don’t drag desks across the floor.
Don’t dump items in work room.
Take trash to dumpster yourself.
Welcome back to school!
Katrina, thank you for sharing today. The repetition of “dump” pulls out the feeling of a dumpy return to the academic year as we end out summer. Good luck with the near though!
This sounds about right, Katrina! Welcome back, but don’t do this and don’t forget the trash. This is just the beginning. Hope the actual teaching and interactions with kids will be much more pleasant. Thank you for sharing and have a smooth beginning of the school year!
All of the above!!! Beyond frustrating! So now I know we aren’t the only school with a secret dumping room. So funny, yet so sad. Last year, we were even told not to leave unwanted items outside the classroom door. I just really wonder what we are supposed to do with things we don’t want.
Thanks, Katrina!
Oh, my, can I relate to this!
Katrina,
It is hard to believe the new school year is right around the corner. I can see those signs, telling us about all the no’s and none of the yes!
Yep.sounds about right…
Your word choices are important here, Katrina. I wonder if admin would approve of teachers using such negative language with students. Is this a case of Do as I say, not as I do?
Thanks Mo,
I got something fun out of the prompt today, as family descend for a wedding and to welcome in a new
suckermember with my niece tying the knot. Nothing is more rejuvenating than the tears of laughter that will be shed when my brother and I get together. I look forward to my middle child making me cry as well.EMMA AND JAKE
All the world’s a stage, and yet
the Mustons are a circus,
the wedding is on Saturday…
add another ring.
Oh, congrats, Rex. Love this blending of Shakespeare’s production and the production of a wedding. The Mustons. Love it.
Rex–perfection– This looks like a wedding I would like to attend! Love the stage connection and the circus reality. Congratulations!
Rex, I appreciate this play on your family with these phrases and the realities of family dynamics. Enjoy the party.
Rex, you made me smile with “the Mustons are a circus.” Congratulations to your niece, your brother, and everyone involved. The Shakespeare’s touch, as Sarah noticed, adds more fun to your poem. Thank you!
Rex,
I am cracking up at
suckerand wonder if you and your brother have given him the “talk” so that he doesn’t get himself in a situation.Congrats to your niece and I hope you all get loads of laughter in!
Congrats, Rex! I also enjoyed the reference to Shakespeare and can relate as sometimes I feel the same way with my family events.
Sooo relatable, Rex. My family is more of a freak show than a circus some days, but we all enjoy each other’s company. Have a great weekend!
Rex,
love this—Shakespeare, the double meaning of ring, the relatability and the humor. No better circus than a family circus, right? Enjoy the time with your family.
Mo, this was fun! I meant to mention the other day – that photo of you and your grands is precious.
It’s my husband’s birthday, so I needed this short prompt today…
Thanks all for such a fun five days of writing! See you again in August!
tradition
hear the mixer’s happy beat
butter, sugar, oh so sweet
old recipe on repeat
birthday cake to be!
Yum! Makes me want to bake!
Maureen, you had me at butter and sugar.
Maureen, thank you for sharing today and I hope the cake turned out delicious. I like the play of personification with the mixer.
Your delightful end rhymes carried me right along, Maureen! Enjoy the cake and the day!
Happy Birthday to your husband, Maureen! I sense the cake will be awesome since it’s “the old recipe on repeat.”
You make me want the sweetness of buttercream. Just the frosting! Happy birthday, someone sweet!
Darn, Maureen , now I’m hungry! Ha! Susie
It’s like you birthed a cake for your hubby today. Love it!
[Well, this great prompt sure brought out one of my frustration points! Ha!]
CHANGING BATTERIES
Batteries dead, untimely;
in flashlights fumbling in dark;
never fair, deep in the night,
smoke alarm blares.
Ladder, of course, not handy,
tucked in a garage corner
behind fifty-pound dog ramp,
car’s in the way.
Dog is now bonkers, yauping,
scared as if under attack;
with ladder erect, broom whacks
at the ceiling
till cursed siren falls mute,
we feel our way back to bed,
wide-eyed, acutely awake,
I hope no fire.
I think pets and young children live out loud what we keep locked up inside during horrible surprises like this – one does feel “scared as if under attack”…not a fun experience, Susie, but a very fun poem!
Oh, no! Your vivid details had me picturing every step of this, Susie! I’ve been there — from being startled awake in the “deep” of night to not being able to find/use “convenient” tools to climbing back into bed “wide-eyed” — some of the many joys of homeownership, lol. I hope after changing the batteries in the detector, you’ll be able to get more rest tonight — and rest more easily!
I love a story-poem, Susie, and marvel at the flawless flow of your extended dodoitsu. Terrifying to be awakened by the smoke alarm – I can see the whole frustrating scene unfolding, especially the not-handy ladder (OF COURSE) and the dog barking at the strange turn of events. I will say that the beep-pause-beep-pause beep of dying alarm batteries in the night has driven me nearly out of my mind; we had a friend who once ripped the alarm off his wall, lol (and yikes!). That last line – after having gone back to bed wide awake – is perfect!
Susie, I hear you, and I’ve been there too. It’s like the entire world is against you in that moment until “cursed siren falls mute.” Hope you got some rest after this incident. Thank you for a great story in perfect dodoitsu form!
Susie, I got to the end and heard the chirp and went back to reread. Why can’t these batteries ever go dead in the daytime? Not in the dead of night? I feel for poor pup and for you!
Oh good grief! Susie, what a mess of a night! I’m so sorry you had to go through all that but grateful for no actual fire.
Wouldn’t you think in this day and age of AI that the smoke detectors could just say, “Hey you, replace my battery!”
This made me chuckle because of course EVERYTHING is in the way. I prayed you didn’t get the ladder and then tumble!
Sorry Susie, but I was laughing at you. Your poem has such great details and is so relatable. My favorite is the dog yauping.
…until you realize you’ve changed the batteries in the wrong one 🤣
I enjoyed trying out this new-to-me form! Thank you!
Oldest child follows the rules.
Second child makes up his own.
Youngest child watches and waits.
The pattern repeats.
As a youngest child, I can confidently say, Marilyn, “this checks out,” lol! Thanks for crafting and sharing today!
I adore this! I have three kiddos; this is exactly our experience. “Youngest child watches and waits” – anything can happen.
Marilyn, I am also the youngest child; these are all on spot. Thank you for this fun poem!
Youngest child here to confirm all of this!
Oldest child here, chiming in to confirm you’ve tapped into truth.
Writing formula poetry proves the fact that short is not necessarily quick. This prompt reinforces the fact that choosing words that fit the form and relay the message takes time. Still, it was a kick to write about my husband, talking about him lovingly and making fun of him at the same time. 🙂
Listening to him humming
Like a kid learning drumming
Yes, he keeps within the beat
Sometimes he’s in tune.
My husband, too! Isn’t it interesting how rythm can be more defining than melody.
“Like a kid learning drumming” – this makes me smile! Adorable, Anna – a sweet poem to share with your husband.
Anna — I love how sweet this is. I reminds me of Mama…she always whistled and hummed tunes, and to save her dear, sweet soul, she could no carry a tune in a basket. So… we learn…so what. Wonderful. Susie
At least you have a sometimes. If I write about my hubby I’d have to use the word never! LOL.
Thank you for this poem, Anna! I smile reading every poem today. Have you shared this poem with you husband yet? I am wondering what he’d say 🙂 Love the sound of “humming – drumming.”
Sometimes…😄
Morning
Mug brimming with hot coffee
needing something warm, a drink
now ending the winter chill
until a wet spill
Thanks for all the prompts this July. I hate for it to end. See you next month!
Not the wet spill! Also, you’re making me nostalgic for a winter chill. This Midwest heat is getting to me.
I love the twist at the end! This ‘winter chill’ – my goodness, I miss this.
Susan, your “mug brimming” is so inviting, but then the “wet spill.” What a juxtaposition.
Bring on the chill and the coffee! What good is the warmth without the chill, is what I say. I’m ready for some Hygge comfort in cold weather and you make me want it now!
Really fun exercise; thanks Mo. Your last line was a perfect example of a turn with humor.
to-do’s
dreams and plans and punch lists form
a cumulonimbus map
endless possibilities
overwhelm me…need a nap
Ooh! A cumulonimbus map! That’s wonderful. I feel like your poem describes me yesterday. I promise I’ll do better today.
Great word choice! Love the ending.
A nap is the perfect response to just about any weather, and I love your second line “a cumulonimbus map.”
Patricia,
Love the image of
Satisfying, humorous twist at the end.
The Low-Hanging Dodoitsu
or
The Poem That Came to Me First
While I Waited for a Better One
This dodoitsu concerns
the heavy and flightless bird,
a myth to some; the dodo
did truly exist.
_______________________________________________
Mo, thanks for this “light” prompt today! I was relieved a bit when I realized I could rely heavily on the title – syllable-wise, almost its own dodoitsu – for “the success” of this offering, lol.
I love how you played with the title, Scott. And so punny, too. Well done.
Hi, Scott — I chuckled with your dodo bird. It came to mind right off for me too, and then I thought well maybe it’s pronounced doo-doo…and I was off on another tangent…kind of a poopy way to look at such a fine new word. Today will be fun…you were my first read and, of course, no disappointment there…you are always fun. Hugs, Susie
Oh, marvelous! I thought of the dodo bird immediately when I trie to pronounce ‘dodoitsu’ – and you made a fun poem happen with this inspiration. I adore your title…which has nearly as many syllables as the poem itself. So fun!
Scott, I just read about dodo bird when Jennifer offered us her prompt, so your poem let me connect right away. The title though wins the first prize! Thank you for making me smile today.
Back to School PD
when a principal welcomes
& the agenda is passed
all the teachers moan
“time in our classrooms”
So true!
Every teacher, everywhere can relate to this.
Amen!!! I just chuckled at this one- just perfect!
Oh yes! I can relates if only!!
Sarah — I can’t help but think every teacher here will resonate with this one. We get sooo revved up for the start of school, and PD way too often just falls over the morning like a pall. And I LOVED PD…but I loved getting my room and plans all set up so much more. Ah well. Hugs, Susie
Always a chorus for this! That “&” makes me think of the endless list of nonessentials at these back-to-school meetings…
ah, the voice of experience. Sarah, you have captured my feelings exactly, “more time in the classrooms.”
Amen! And it is a rare principal who understands.
Please…
Fun! Each spring we plant sweet corn on our farm. The first rows were almost ready this week, when midnight visitors decimated the plot. This is a doditsu about (wasted) work!
purchase the seed, till the ground
plant the sweetcorn on staggered
dates to supply extended
harvest–for the coons
Funny you mentioned the raccoons- they have been in my suburban yard the last few nights. Your poem shows your frustration and your understanding of nature. Good luck with the rest of the corn!
Argh!!! I feel you, Allison. Squirrels took more than their fair share of my lettuce this year!
Oh, Allison — those blasted raccoons! My neighbors laid sod in a whole area that they’ve been trying to reseed in their back yard, and no sooner than they laid the sod…THE NEXT DAY, they woke to the entire area torn to smithereens, thanks to those midnight marauders! They look so cute, but they rip the daylights out of stuff. “Decimated” indeed! Maybe we need to add coon hounds to our menageries. Hugs, Susie
Yes, for us, the deer are well-fed.
For the coons! lol My husband grew some yummy tomatoes this year and neglected to get the top screen cover over our small garden plot, and we’ve been calling the tomatoes ‘for the birds.’ Lucky, lucky birds, lucky, luck raccoons.
Allison, I giggled reading your poem. Our issue is a combo of tiny and tall – chipmunks and deer! But, thanks be to God, we’re sharing the space and they’re not bothering the artificial plants on my porch!
Mo–sometimes brevity is so welcome. I am a syllable counting junkie, so this was fun. I chuckled at your ode to love–in the 60’s, my husband had long wavy hair. Girls would stop him and ask if they could touch it. In his thirties it began moving backwards–quickly. Hubris won out!!
Short Dog Protocol
There is power within me.
I must protect my honor.
When in doubt, bark it out.
All the world is mine.
GJSands
7/24/24
Truth, Gayle! I see we are indeed on the same short-dog wavelength today. I adore the line “When in doubt, bark it out” – that is exactly what these big, bad, little dogs do. I’m suddenly remembering tiny cartoon characters who are determined to take over the Earth…not realizing, of course, that this has already been accomplished by small dogs. Love this 🙂
Oh, Gayle. This is tshirt worthy — when in doubt, bark it out. Love it.
When in doubt, bark it out could be an anthem for so many breeds. My 4 pound Yorkie believes she owns the neighborhood. Size doesn’t matter when she approaches any dog. The world is indeed hers!
Hi, Gayle — Made me giggle. I just got back from walking my dog. Short dogs are funny little creatures. Gotta love it. Susie
Gayle,
I think you really captured the bravado of the little dog. I like how they look at you and give a gaze like, “I will make an exception for you.” Any pet that small has the potential for mad swagger. I like the mantra of “When in doubt, bark it out.” Sounds like the motto of some of my freshmen boys.
Gayle, thank you this poem! “When in doubt, bark it out” sounds like a proper slogan for a short dog 🙂
Gayle, you gave voice to the little ball of fur that forces me to walk every single day. I love the powerful last line “All the world is mine.”
Summer Break
Sleeping in and bingeing shows,
hanging out with my daughter.
Wait, track starts at five AM!?
August, I’ll sleep in.
©️Jennifer Kowaczek July 2024
Mo, this was a super fun form to play with. Thank you introducing this one to us.
Since every syllable counts, I substituted track for cross country. My daughter has been dealing with low iron this summer, but she gets up every day to join her team at practice, riding her bike instead of running until we get good news that her ferritin levels are where they need to be. These days start so early for this night owl; I’m looking forward to sleeping in once school starts.
Jennifer,
Ain’t this the truth. Of course, we don’t want to be baking in the daytime sun but 5am. And yes, protect the early morning rest. Sleep in! Love how you add that comma after August for direct address.
Sarah
Expectations vs. reality- it always seems that is the conflict of an educator’s summer. I sure hope your daughter is feeling better!
I can hear your mom voice exclaiming this! Just waiting for the days until school starts and you are ready to sleep in again. 🙂
We get to sleep in until 6:30 during the school year. She goes to school at 7:00 and I don’t need to be at school until 8:30 (but I’m usually there earlier) — our school day starts at 9:00.
Mo, thank you for inspiring us with a new form. Your dodoitsu has me thinking about how many questions could replace your last line:) My poem is inspired by watching a popular game show recently.
Family Fued Firing
big boss’s desk gets a treat
dead flowers, loogie, nasty
words, pic of middle finger
bag ‘o poo, fired
Stefani,
I am trying to attach your poem to what I remember of Family Feud, and I think the game has evolved. Actually, of course, the game has to keep inventing categories so why not big boss’s desk. Love this series of answers you’ve gathered for the humorous twist to the poem.
What on earth was the category? Things you’d get fired for if you put on the boss’ desk? What a silly assortment you’ve gathered for us. Funny!
Stefani,
What a fresh perspective. And no strikes! Did you add the fired part?
Fun! It’s fun finding a little joke to tuck into lines. Your ‘what if he goes bald?’ is perfect. Just a little joke that brings a smile.
if a messy desk is a
sign of a well ordered mind
then all my orders are neat
a pen hard to find
Love this, Linda! You completed the task of humor effortlessly and the rhyme leads us right to it. This poem feels all tied up with a neat little bow on top. Well done!
Linda, I honestly take great comfort from these lines as I go about my annual summer decluttering (how is it never, ever, ever done-???). The pen, hard to find – oh yes. I smile even as I nod in complete commiseration.
All my orders are neat- love it. If a pen is hard to find, maybe look for a pencil?
Linda,
Adding the rhyme scheme makes this especially clever and humorous. I am loving this poetic form today. And, yes, messy desk and well ordered mind feels familiar. I feel seen.
Sarah
Love the build up, Linda. And the visual—in so few lines.
I can feel the messiness of this desk and all the work being done! Good job, Linda.
Lol, Linda! This reminds me of the Einstein quote (which I printed out and put on my desk and could show you, but it’ll take a minute to locate under all these stacks, lol): “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
So true!
Hahahah! Me to a “T”! I love this and instantly envisioned my desk at work. It’s a mess!
Linda — This is witty and perfect. The pen…perfect ending. Susie
Linda, oh I am there with you! It’s always when I clean up that I can’t find a thing.
Ah, Mo – this little form is big on fun! Perfect way to end the Open Write (I am always sad to see it come, though). Your love story poem is hilarious. I confess to thinking of Prince William (alas!), who’s still considered cute by a new generation, just sayin’…
I ended up with a pair of dodoitsu… couldn’t resist a bit of pun, lol. Thank you: )
Dachshund Dodoitsu
The guardian of our house
has a most ferocious bark:
he believes he’s ten feet tall
on those two-inch legs.
Yet when it rains, he’s reduced
to absolute prissiness:
For whom is this door open—???
—Dodo, it’s you! Go!
LOL. Love it…I always imagine what my pets are thinking…and they think they are people, not pets. The two inch legs brought a giggle. I am sad to see open write end too! It’s a highlight of each month.
Fran, Shadow does much the same (and she’s a labrador retriever). It was downpouring yesterday at walk time and she insisted on going until she stepped from under the overhand and into the deluge and immediately beelined back into the house. I love the choice of “reduced” to emphasize the diminishing ferociousness and his size.
Fran–again, we are in parallel poetry worlds! Those ten foot egos and two inch legs… I think Molly just doesn’t like the feel of wet on her belly!
LOL. The pun is perfect here. I love the contrasting prissiness and ferociousness. And those two-inch legs! Hysterical.
Ah, Fran — This is so doggy-true. My little tank is all full of vim and vinegar until it rains and she stands there and seems to say…”Ew, no thank you, I’ll just stand here in the doorway and watch.” I love your doggy-ness here. Love it. Susie
Fran, I’m laughing! I can see the prissiness that the wet grass brings – and the front paw brakes that brings this boy to a screeching halt with a question mark on his brow, in disbelief he must walk through puddles. As always, such imagery and emotion here • and I love the pun!
Fran,
True with the reduction to prissiness…it just rained hard here, and I don’t think I will have much luck with the puppers. The last line feels like you are looking at him, actually saying it. Love your transformation of the poem type into verbage!
Thank you for the prompt today, Mo! I had not heard of this form before. This week, I have been attending the Poetry Foundation’s Teacher Institute so I went with one about work, however, I broke the form.
Hotel pillows bend my neck
Into headaches. Summer days
End with poetry and politics.
Leaves me to question: will I
Be strong enough come fall?
I feel your pain on so many levels, Jordan! The hotel pillow, the politics… I wonder the same about my strength, come fall. You nailed this!
Jordan, I’m so excited you are at the Institute. I went last summer and loved it. You will get so much from it that I am sure you will be stronger in the fall. Love the poem.
Thank you for the introduction to this new form of poetry! I haven’t written much constrained by syllables so I find it challenging and rewarding. I felt I had to write two. One for each of my cats.
Winks
A one eyed escape artist
chewing through the back porch screen
I swear this cat has watched The
Shawshank Redemption
Wilson
Eyes focused on the small birds
back and forth at the feeder
tail twitches, a pounce follows
ouch! the glass window
Ha!! You had me laughing aloud at Shawshank Redemption and the glass window – yikes. I marvel at the descriptive detail that paints such a clear picture of Winks and Wilson, despite the syllable constraint. I can see them plainly. So well-done!
Yes, indeed! Shawshank and the glass window are terrific last lines. So sweet and funny!
tee hee. Oh, those crazy cats. Through the screen? Yikes! That is one strong hunting instinct. I love the way my cats chatter at the glass…keeping us safe from all those dangerous cicadas.
Fun! Thank you for introducing us to your cats. Your poems paint a purr-fect picture.
Mona–you have captured these cats perfectly. Cats think they are so cool–till they’re not. I am so glad you have joined us!
Mona, Wilson and Winks are some cool cat names. I love that Winks is so aptly named with his one eye. And it looks like Wilson might need glasses too! How cute! Gotta love a cat!
Deflated Bucks
Get hyped for my plans today,
caffeinated, Starbucks way,
HOLLA! when I say, DISMAY!
Flat tire on the way 🤣!
NOOOOOOO! Not on the way for coffee! Epic tragedy! And how perfect is your title?? Absolutely loved this, even if it seared my coffee-loving soul.
Ugh! This is one of those things that’s funny later…great use of the form.
Something similar happened to me a few months ago, but at least I was in the way home. Hope your day gets better!
Oh crud! Boxer, that is a bummer indeed! All hyped and bam! I LOVE the title! Hang in there! Susie
Mo, thanks so much for offering a new poetic form. There’s something about counting syllables and staying within the assigned “box” that is incredibly satisfying. Love the last line of your Dodoitsu – I can imagine the intrusive thought suddenly popping up amidst all the hearts and flowers.
Dramatic Guise
Irony arrived disguised
over the last two days… but
this audience understands
our next assignment
Jennifer, I agree with that observation in your intro about the way a syllable count can bring satisfaction. Everything unnecessary has to be stripped away. Now, as for irony arriving disguised (loved the sounds in that opening line, it feels like a curtain being opened)…isn’t that just Irony’s way?? It certainly sets the stage; can see so many meanings in these few lines…
I like what you’ve done here, especially the irony arriving.
Jennifer, I love how this can apply to so many different scenarios. Especially the world right now. Sometimes the disguised arrival is a welcome surprise!
Thank you for introducing me to a new poetic form! How fun!! And your words are perfectly funny and I could hear myself thinking those same types of wondering and worries.
My draft captures a work funny.
Sweet Deal
Working in a remote job
It’s quite a sweet deal until
you discover the office
has a candy bar!
Christine, this made me laugh! How true (and something I never considered when thinking all those jealous thoughts of people working remotely). Love your choice of “sweet deal” to connect with the twist at the end.
A sweet deal, indeed, Christine – maybe too much so, ha!
I love the double meaning of “sweet”.
Is your office hiring?
This made me chuckle, Christine. My daughter has started working remotely and misses things like that at the office. One is the Farmer’s Market just outside.
I want that gig! Oh, to be able to work remotely – – indeed, a sweet deal.
So true! I’ve come to learn that I will lose more weight if I decline the remote job offers – too close to the snack bar.
Mo, thank you for introducing us to the dodoitsu form. Every time I meet a new form I like, I stick with it for days, so I’ll be returning again and again to this one. I especially love that it has humor in it – – and I think that’s why with the way the world is right now, I choose Billy Collins poems just to take the edge off – – so I’m truly looking forward to coming home after work and reading all the poems today. I like how you went from butterflies to balding! That’s some imagery right there! I went straight to my dogs, who keep me in stitches – especially our poor aging fellow, Fitz (named for F. Scott Fitzgerald), who has CUPS disease and is having to have all his teeth taken out in phases but doesn’t realize they aren’t there anymore. He still believes he’s the baddest.
Toothless Alpha
he’s practically toothless
our aging schnauzer alpha
gumming vicious warning snaps
at badass others
I love that Fitz is an alpha! He sounds like my 14-year-old Yorkie, Bitty. I call her Chimuela, which is Spanish for toothless. She doesn’t even have one anymore!
Awwww… I can just imagine this guy, in all his ferocious gummyness, warning off the bad guys, still believing he’s the GOAT. Poor Fitz. I love the spunk of smaller dogs, going after whatever they decide upon and defending no matter what. He’s got this!
Oh poor thing! Yet I am laughing at the sight you aptly painted. Thank you
ha! you are well protected by gums!
Oh, Kim. Poor, precious Fitz… I want to come from Zebulon NC to Zebulon GA and hold him in my arms awhile. The bravery and courage of the canine knows no bounds. We should remain utterly humbled in their noble presence…two things: 1) My grandmother told a story about a family dog that disappeared, apparently dognapped, because it eventually returned with lost and broken teeth from having bitten through chains; and 2) In true kindred spirit-ness (again!), I wrote of Dennis & his “big” badness. Extra love to Fitz today from Dennis & me <3
“gumming vicious warning snaps” tells it all in a few syllables. Have to love that Fitz.
Kim — I think this prompt has ignited a bunch of doggy moments for folks. I love your ol’ schnauzer being his “badass” self. That’s great. The “toothless” against the “alpha” is just dandy. Hugs and pets, Susie
I love the line “gumming vicious warning snaps” – as ours also takes harmless snaps that will never accomplish his goal, but we flinch nonetheless.
I no longer remember
to put the tea kettle on,
with a bag inside her mug:
it’s automatic
I mean, this is true love, right?
I agree with Mo…that first cuppa made by my sweetie is the best!
I’m searching Amazon: automatic rememberer for tea drinkers…..
Oh, how I need more automatic things in my life
and a self-cleaning house.
Haha, ha! The luxury of appliances that do the job for us. Not sure if that was the connection you intended, but I love that there are multiple ways of reading this.
Automatic! That is love indeed. Thanks for the quiet smile received from your words
I love how the simple word “her” lets us know that this automatic gesture is an act of love.
What I love most is your concern and ensurance so that she will always get her tea 🙂
Aw, Kevin — precious. Lucky “her” I’d say. Susie